June 3rd, 2011

stargates

Mitchell, where's your trousers? R rated for picture 13 for story.

Title Mitchell where's your trousers?
Rating R for the picture 13 for the story.
Word Count 1007
Characters Cam Mitchell, Teal'c, Sam Carter, Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson and Original Characters.
Disclaimer The only characters that I can lay claim to are the ones that dont belong to the Stargate Franchise. None of the others belong to me.
A/N This story is being written for stargateland in connection with the first day of the Theme week challange. The prompt I have taken is prompt 37. SG1, Cam, Why me? and the inspiration for the underwear came from Natural Pouch Boxer Briefs.

Cam came to. He was in some sort of cell. It was cold, damp and smelled and he was alone. Then he noticed that he felt more than a little cold below his waist. This was more than a little worrying.

He decided that he would do a uniform check. He still had his jacket although the pockets were empty. His t-shirt was on and from what he could feel it was still intact and doing its job. Then he moved his hands down below his waist, following down the contours of the outside of his thighs. All he could feel was the cloth of his briefs and further down his naked flesh.

“Oh come on.” he raised his hands up in annoyance. “Why me? What have I done to the universe that it needs to keep taking my pants?”

Of course, as there was no-one else there, the question was merely rhetorical. And even if there had been anyone there, it was a certainty that they wouldn’t have been able to answer that question either.

Right now all Cam could do was sit down on the bench that ran across the back of the cell and wait brooding on the unfairness of it all..

Sometime later someone came to the cell and opened it. As they did so they looked at Cam, with eyes that could have been full of lust or envy or both. Cam was more than a little disconcerted at this.

“Supreme Leader Ashika will see you now”

The man pulled Cam out of the cell and in to the corridor. As he walked along it, he became aware of more and more sets of eyes, both male and female, staring at him as he went past. Had he grown two heads or something?

Then something pricked at the back of his mind. It was the word washing. All this succeeded in doing was totally confusing Cam. He was sure he would remember eventually. But right now he had to hope that his friends had been able to get him out of the mess he was in.

As he walked in to the council room he caught site of the rest of his team. As he watched Sam and Vala staring down at something below his waist, eyes wide and mouths open, it finally hit him. He was wearing the pair of natural pouch boxer briefs that gave him the type of anatomical enhancement that you could only miss if you were blind or very short sighted. What made it worse was the fact that they were sky blue. The person that gave them to him had said that it was a colour that went well with the fact that he was an air-force pilot.

Now he understood why the word washing had come to mind. He had been so busy on missions recently that he hadn’t been able to do any. As a result of which, these had been the only pair of clean briefs he could find before they left today. While they were really comfortable and all, and were definitely enhancing he hadn’t really intended showing them to the masses. Especially if the masses included the rest of his team.

It was then he looked up and saw Daniel staring at him intently. The look he was giving him was the same one he had when he got his hands on some ancient relic or other.

“As long as he doesn’t ask for a detailed examination.” Cam thought, trying not to get too freaked out by the situation.

Supreme Leader Ashika looked him up and down. Cam looked at her and felt her eyes stop at the same point that Sam and Vala had. He was really getting nervous as he had no idea what she was going to say.

“My dear Colonel, I am really sorry for the inconvenience that you have experienced. Your friends have explained the situation.” She looked at him again and smiled. “I hope that this misunderstanding will not harm the ties between earth and ourselves and that negotiations may be restarted at a later date. Colonel I hope that you will chose to return here as you appear to be a man of many assets, some of which I would love to explore with you.”

Teal’c raised his eyebrows and said nothing.

Cam really winced at this and with as much dignity as he could muster under the circumstances, nodded in thanks.

“Thank you ma’am. Would it be all right if we headed back to the stargate? I just want to go home now if that’s ok with you.”

Ashika nodded and SG-1 headed for the stargate. The journey back to the gate took less time that it had when they had arrived. All Cam wanted to do was get back to the SGC, get some pants on and forget that this day ever happened.

********

Walter was sitting in the control room when the sirens went off. “Unscheduled Off-World Activation”

General Landry came in and took up position just beside Walter.

“We have an IDC. It’s Colonel Mitchell’s.”

Landry furrowed his brow. “They’re not due back for another six hours.”

Suddenly there was the familiar Kwoosh. The puddle established itself and SG-1 walked down in to the gateroom. General Landry looked twice to make sure that he really was seeing what he was looking at. The rest of the team headed by Colonel Mitchell, wearing some very non-regulation briefs. In fact, they were so non-regulation that he didn’t even know they made them like that.

Reaching over to the intercom Landry said, “Welcome back Colonel. I can’t wait to read your mission report.”

With his humiliation complete he turned and looked at his team. “Don’t say a thing.”

With that, he turned on his heels and left.
On the way out, he was convinced he heard Vala say, “Mmm he definitely has nice assets. He should wear those more often.”

Cam sighed and kept going.
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